[But Levi never could kick that out of him, and Eren is keenly aware that they both know that. In some ways, Captain Levi will never be the same to Eren either. He's the only one left of those at the end that didn't live that future. His fear of Levi has lessened; his respect for Levi has overflown. It hurts. He wants to believe that Levi could put him in his place if he wanted to, but he doesn't. Because he didn't.
[Hot tears well in Eren's eyes, but his teeth are gritting, grinding, his fists clenching. He doesn't notice. His mind is somewhere else.
[How could he ever explain to Levi that he does get those ideas; in fact, cannot seem to escape them at all. He lived those memories. He knew The Paths. He knew power. He wanted it. He wanted it. The truth is too ugly, too grotesque. It's true that he did it to protect the lives of Captain Levi and the rest of His People, but that isn't the only reason.
[He wanted that rotten, bastard world empty.
[Eren sucks in a sharp breath. He'd been holding it. Provided Levi hasn't already kicked his ass, the tension in his body releases. He stares at his hands, shakes his head.]
cw: genocide etc
[Hot tears well in Eren's eyes, but his teeth are gritting, grinding, his fists clenching. He doesn't notice. His mind is somewhere else.
[How could he ever explain to Levi that he does get those ideas; in fact, cannot seem to escape them at all. He lived those memories. He knew The Paths. He knew power. He wanted it. He wanted it. The truth is too ugly, too grotesque. It's true that he did it to protect the lives of Captain Levi and the rest of His People, but that isn't the only reason.
[He wanted that rotten, bastard world empty.
[Eren sucks in a sharp breath. He'd been holding it. Provided Levi hasn't already kicked his ass, the tension in his body releases. He stares at his hands, shakes his head.]
No...[Tears pool and flow down the sides of his face.] I wouldn't do that.