She thinks for a moment, her brow creasing in concentration. 'If I look for it, I see it,' she admits, because now that she does look, the dust in the corners is beyond obvious.
'I guess... I have to prioritise. I'm good at that. This place is nothing at all like a starship. I had to learn a lot from scratch. So priorities are-' she starts ticking them off on her fingers, out of habit, 'earn enough to support myself, make profit, militia work, keep the house warm, haul enough water from the well to keep myself and my clothes looking presentable, lay pipes so that someday I won't have to do that... not in that order. But it's a lot. For one person to do everything alone. Building the kind of machines that deal with dust would be a big project and I wouldn't even know where to start with materials.'
Tayrey had gone from being a very privileged child to a member of a large and specialised starship crew. Living alone was never something she thought she'd have to do.
He connects those dots together. "Wait, hold on - you're building all that yourself because you don't want to ask the crystal for shit? Is it because you don't think it's a fair exchange to give it energy or whatever, or you don't want to give it?"
The words might sound somewhat judgmental, but Levi's just trying to understand what the line is for her here.
"Anyway, I don't mind doing this for you once in a while, if we can work out an exchange." For his purposes, he doesn't really need one, except that if Ari hopes to have him visit again, it'll make Levi more comfortable to spend time in a place not covered in a layer of dust. "If it's too much for one person, you can ask for help."
Her expression darkens. 'I was held prisoner by a being who saw me as a fuel source and not a person,' she says quietly. 'The fuel was my pain and suffering. I'm not being poetic. That's literally how it was. So no, I'm not giving up anything at all, tangible or not, without a contract in place. If Vaeros wants something from me, he can talk to me and deal with me fairly, and come to a mutually beneficial and consensual agreement. Until that time? There's dignity in doing things with my own two hands. However clumsily.' She glances down at those hands. They're tougher than they used to be. New calluses. 'There's none at all in standing in front of an inanimate crystal begging an unseen person for handouts and having to pay an unknown price for them.'
Tayrey isn't getting emotional about it. Her words are even and considered; this is simply how it is for her. She lives by her principles.
Can she ask for help, though? Again, she has to consider it. Most people would simply hear a pithy remark about her independence, but she trusts Levi more than that. Sometimes you have to rely on your comrades, don't you? If you know that they won't see you as lesser because of it - and she doesn't think he will.
'We could work out an exchange,' she agrees, finally, 'and maybe - maybe you could show me the most efficient way to handle it.' Maybe it's not wrong for her, she decides. It hadn't ever been her job shipside, and she'd been right to refuse after that, because cleaning the place of her imprisonment wasn't proper for a Tradeliner. Things are different now, aren't they? This cottage is hers.
Levi goes very still, his gaze intensifying, hardening, as she recounts her experience. He doesn't need details, doesn't doubt that she means precisely what she says. He's seen enough horror in the world even before ever laying eyes on a titan to know that if some shitty noble could have figure out how to profit off people's suffering for energy, they would have. They'd already exploited every other part of their physical body, why not their emotions as well? As far as he's ever concerned, exploitation is the true evil in the world.
He stares at her, hard, for a long moment before he simply says: "I understand."
There's no sympathy offered, but there is a palpable anger on her behalf that thrums silently through his limbs, an energy looking for an outlet. Levi clenches his fists briefly to try to dissipate some of it, but it's not enough, and he shifts to his feet, suddenly restless.
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'I guess... I have to prioritise. I'm good at that. This place is nothing at all like a starship. I had to learn a lot from scratch. So priorities are-' she starts ticking them off on her fingers, out of habit, 'earn enough to support myself, make profit, militia work, keep the house warm, haul enough water from the well to keep myself and my clothes looking presentable, lay pipes so that someday I won't have to do that... not in that order. But it's a lot. For one person to do everything alone. Building the kind of machines that deal with dust would be a big project and I wouldn't even know where to start with materials.'
Tayrey had gone from being a very privileged child to a member of a large and specialised starship crew. Living alone was never something she thought she'd have to do.
no subject
The words might sound somewhat judgmental, but Levi's just trying to understand what the line is for her here.
"Anyway, I don't mind doing this for you once in a while, if we can work out an exchange." For his purposes, he doesn't really need one, except that if Ari hopes to have him visit again, it'll make Levi more comfortable to spend time in a place not covered in a layer of dust. "If it's too much for one person, you can ask for help."
no subject
Tayrey isn't getting emotional about it. Her words are even and considered; this is simply how it is for her. She lives by her principles.
Can she ask for help, though? Again, she has to consider it. Most people would simply hear a pithy remark about her independence, but she trusts Levi more than that. Sometimes you have to rely on your comrades, don't you? If you know that they won't see you as lesser because of it - and she doesn't think he will.
'We could work out an exchange,' she agrees, finally, 'and maybe - maybe you could show me the most efficient way to handle it.' Maybe it's not wrong for her, she decides. It hadn't ever been her job shipside, and she'd been right to refuse after that, because cleaning the place of her imprisonment wasn't proper for a Tradeliner. Things are different now, aren't they? This cottage is hers.
no subject
He stares at her, hard, for a long moment before he simply says: "I understand."
There's no sympathy offered, but there is a palpable anger on her behalf that thrums silently through his limbs, an energy looking for an outlet. Levi clenches his fists briefly to try to dissipate some of it, but it's not enough, and he shifts to his feet, suddenly restless.
"All you have to do is ask."