[Maybe the cadets need something to aspire to in old age. But no, Erwin will keep himself decent around everyone but Levi and Hange. They both helped him when he lost his arm, so they've already seen him at his worst. He's got nothing to hide from either of them.]
I've got some lotion that's supposed to help with skin ailments. I've tried wearing it over a shirt but I can't get it as tight to my shoulder as I want when I do that.
[It also looks pretty weird, wearing it over a shirt.]
I think so. Right now, I have to concentrate to make it move. I'm hoping that, the more I practice, the more automatic the movements will become.
[He offers the metal hand to Levi.]
Do you want to touch it? I'll be able to feel you with it.
[ Well fine...that makes sense. And he guess he'll just have to help Erwin out with that lotion, huh? How terrible, rubbing his hands over Erwin's chest and back perhaps nightly. How will he ever cope.
Levi's a little distracted by the thought when Erwin holds out the hand to him, and he's not quite able to hold down the unsure look that appears on his face.
I'll be able to feel you with it. There's something oddly intimate about that, because in truth he hadn't expected that to be true. But there's also some amount of...trepidation of being touched by an artificial contraption.
Get over yourself, he thinks, and reaches out to trace fingertips over the palm. ]
[Yes, Levi's life is truly suffering, having to be exposed to Erwin's chest and back and then putting his hands all over them. Erwin apologises for this egregious hardship he must endure.]
Oh...
[Erwin had watched as Levi reached out, and in a way, he'd been just as nervous. He already knows that he can feel many things with the new arm--the weight of a shirt over it, the metal elbow when he used it to open a door, the cottage doorknob when he turned it--but he hasn't touched another person yet. Part of him has been afraid that he won't be able to feel the lighter, softer touches the world has to offer.]
I felt that!
[It had been muffled, like Erwin had been wearing a glove when Levi touched him, but it had been there. He can feel Levi's fingertips on the metal hand, can even faintly feel the heat from them, and Erwin's face brightens like a rising sun.]
Levi, I can touch you again.
[It barely takes any concentration at all to make the metal hand turn, and gently wrap around Levi's.]
[ The metal is...strange. It's slightly warm to the touch, where he'd expected it to be cool - he prefers that it's warm, though, because at least it's a little less jarring and less difficult to think of it as an extension of Erwin...but it's still...strange.
But Erwin's excitement causes a sudden surge of emotion in his chest that Levi only just manages to contain, jaw tightening briefly and blinking rapidly to clear the sudden cloudiness away from his eyes. There's an instinct to pull away when metal fingers close over his hand - a reflex to avoid capture that's been long ingrained into his bones - but it's Erwin, and it's gentle, and he manages to hold still, even as his breathing gets just a little harder, barely noticeable.
He looks up at Erwin, brows furrowed a little as he carefully folds his fingers back over the metal hand as he answer softly. ]
You could always touch me.
[ Of course that's not what Erwin meant, but - it's all that Levi can think to say in the moment. ]
[Erwin drops his left hand over both of theirs, cradling Levi's hand between his two.]
I can hold you.
[With two arms! Which they've never gotten to do, realising what they were to each other only after Erwin lost his right arm. Erwin lets go of Levi's hand and spreads his arms wide.]
Please, come here.
[He knows the metal arm is weird. He knows it's going to take some getting used to. But he wants to hold his husband with two arms for the first time, and there's a faint note of pleading in his eyes when he asks Levi to step in. Please, let him do this. Let him feel whole, with his husband, for the first time.]
[ Fuck. Damn it, fuck, shit - just - how fucking dare he, really. Erwin really knows what to say to make it all hit home, doesn't he? He always has, the bastard, even for something like this. Something that seems so simple but makes his chest ache. The look in Erwin's eyes echoes a longing in his heart, a small, inconsequential wish that they hadn't taken his fucking long to be together. He's never thought any part of the man insufficient, no matter his insecurities and doubts. Erwin has always, always been enough, but that didn't mean Levi was unaware of the struggles he yet carried, like the loss of his arm. Seeing him now, how could he do anything but fling himself into that embrace?
Levi doesn't quite fling, but he doesn't hesitate this time, either, stepping into that awaiting circle. His own arms slip around Erwin's waist, palms pressing to warm skin as he rests his cheek against that broad chest (out of the way of the straps, hopefully, otherwise he might fling the damn thing off after all), and just - sinks into him, feeling his heartbeat. ]
[The straps are, fortunately, mostly on the right side, so as long as Levi errs towards the left, he won't run into any of them.]
[Erwin lets out a great, sighing breath that's almost a sob when Levi steps into the circle of his arms. He wraps both of them around him, for the very first time, and he's able to feel Levi inside the ring he's created. He's warm and solid and breathing softly, and Erwin can feel all of that, every bit of Levi against him and in his arms, and it is the single most amazing thing he's ever felt.]
[He drops his forehead down against Levi's head and just stands there, holding him like a real, whole person, swaying minutely from side to side.]
[ That sound nearly breaks his own composure, and instead he just tightens his own arms a little around Erwin, anchoring them both. Even with one made out of metal, it does feel good...really good...to be encircled like this. Shielded, secure, safe, his face pressed into Erwin's chest, breathing him in. He smells of clean skin and leather, and he's solid and real and...whole, again.
The longer they stand there, basking quietly in such a longed-for sensation, the more Levi feels himself relaxing. The ever-present tightness between his shoulders unwinds a little, his body becoming a little heavier as he leans into his husband. Husband.
Erwin.
After several long, uncounted moments, he presses fingertips into Erwin's back, and lifts his head gently, tilting his face upward as he raises himself up onto tiptoes to join their lips in a soft, sweet kiss. ]
[Erwin could stand like this all day. He damn well might have, if Levi didn't eventually pull him out of his happy daze. And for what a lovely reason; he dips his head down gladly to kiss Levi back.]
[He hadn't realised how broken he'd felt until he was made whole again. There hadn't been time, back home, to truly mourn the loss of his arm, and once they were here, he'd simply hadn't allowed himself the privilege. There was always too much to do, too many other things to occupy his attention. Now though, that it's replaced and he feels like a complete man again, Erwin can gently say goodbye to who he was, and welcome who he has become.]
The straps aren't bothering you?
[Because he's going to be doing this every chance he gets.]
[ It's broken only for as long as that kiss. Because while Levi could just climb the man like a tree to get at a better kissing level, he's perfectly happy to settle back onto his heels and lay his cheek to Erwin's pillowy chest again and continue to be held like this. There's a feeling radiating from Erwin, a lightness he can't remember the last time he'd seen - before everything with Eren started, before the walls were kicked in again.
He wants to bask in it for as long as he can. ]
No. [ He murmurs softly, rubbing his face against soft skin, fingertips playing idly over a scar on Erwin's back. ]
[The last time Erwin felt this light, it was... gods, he can't even remember. That probably says something about him and his lifestyle, that he can so easily pinpoint the dark times, but feeling good like this is much more rare. Even when Levi took Erwin's wedding band and put it on his finger, Erwin hadn't felt this at home in his own body.]
[ Because this is...nice. Really nice. They've spent so many hours together by now, being close, curled up against each other and making up for all of the comfort they could have had. Levi thinks he'll never not crave it. But this feels so incredibly perfect, the moment more peaceful than anything he's ever experienced. And he'll do whatever is necessary to hang onto it, to hold onto Erwin, and Hange, and all of them already here, to protect these moments of happiness they could never have before.
Erwin's heartbeat is a familiar, soothing sound against his ear. Levi closes his eyes, follows that gentle sway as they stand together. ]
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no subject
I've got some lotion that's supposed to help with skin ailments. I've tried wearing it over a shirt but I can't get it as tight to my shoulder as I want when I do that.
[It also looks pretty weird, wearing it over a shirt.]
I think so. Right now, I have to concentrate to make it move. I'm hoping that, the more I practice, the more automatic the movements will become.
[He offers the metal hand to Levi.]
Do you want to touch it? I'll be able to feel you with it.
no subject
[ Well fine...that makes sense. And he guess he'll just have to help Erwin out with that lotion, huh? How terrible, rubbing his hands over Erwin's chest and back perhaps nightly. How will he ever cope.
Levi's a little distracted by the thought when Erwin holds out the hand to him, and he's not quite able to hold down the unsure look that appears on his face.
I'll be able to feel you with it. There's something oddly intimate about that, because in truth he hadn't expected that to be true. But there's also some amount of...trepidation of being touched by an artificial contraption.
Get over yourself, he thinks, and reaches out to trace fingertips over the palm. ]
no subject
Oh...
[Erwin had watched as Levi reached out, and in a way, he'd been just as nervous. He already knows that he can feel many things with the new arm--the weight of a shirt over it, the metal elbow when he used it to open a door, the cottage doorknob when he turned it--but he hasn't touched another person yet. Part of him has been afraid that he won't be able to feel the lighter, softer touches the world has to offer.]
I felt that!
[It had been muffled, like Erwin had been wearing a glove when Levi touched him, but it had been there. He can feel Levi's fingertips on the metal hand, can even faintly feel the heat from them, and Erwin's face brightens like a rising sun.]
Levi, I can touch you again.
[It barely takes any concentration at all to make the metal hand turn, and gently wrap around Levi's.]
no subject
But Erwin's excitement causes a sudden surge of emotion in his chest that Levi only just manages to contain, jaw tightening briefly and blinking rapidly to clear the sudden cloudiness away from his eyes. There's an instinct to pull away when metal fingers close over his hand - a reflex to avoid capture that's been long ingrained into his bones - but it's Erwin, and it's gentle, and he manages to hold still, even as his breathing gets just a little harder, barely noticeable.
He looks up at Erwin, brows furrowed a little as he carefully folds his fingers back over the metal hand as he answer softly. ]
You could always touch me.
[ Of course that's not what Erwin meant, but - it's all that Levi can think to say in the moment. ]
no subject
[Erwin drops his left hand over both of theirs, cradling Levi's hand between his two.]
I can hold you.
[With two arms! Which they've never gotten to do, realising what they were to each other only after Erwin lost his right arm. Erwin lets go of Levi's hand and spreads his arms wide.]
Please, come here.
[He knows the metal arm is weird. He knows it's going to take some getting used to. But he wants to hold his husband with two arms for the first time, and there's a faint note of pleading in his eyes when he asks Levi to step in. Please, let him do this. Let him feel whole, with his husband, for the first time.]
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Levi doesn't quite fling, but he doesn't hesitate this time, either, stepping into that awaiting circle. His own arms slip around Erwin's waist, palms pressing to warm skin as he rests his cheek against that broad chest (out of the way of the straps, hopefully, otherwise he might fling the damn thing off after all), and just - sinks into him, feeling his heartbeat. ]
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[Erwin lets out a great, sighing breath that's almost a sob when Levi steps into the circle of his arms. He wraps both of them around him, for the very first time, and he's able to feel Levi inside the ring he's created. He's warm and solid and breathing softly, and Erwin can feel all of that, every bit of Levi against him and in his arms, and it is the single most amazing thing he's ever felt.]
[He drops his forehead down against Levi's head and just stands there, holding him like a real, whole person, swaying minutely from side to side.]
no subject
The longer they stand there, basking quietly in such a longed-for sensation, the more Levi feels himself relaxing. The ever-present tightness between his shoulders unwinds a little, his body becoming a little heavier as he leans into his husband. Husband.
Erwin.
After several long, uncounted moments, he presses fingertips into Erwin's back, and lifts his head gently, tilting his face upward as he raises himself up onto tiptoes to join their lips in a soft, sweet kiss. ]
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[He hadn't realised how broken he'd felt until he was made whole again. There hadn't been time, back home, to truly mourn the loss of his arm, and once they were here, he'd simply hadn't allowed himself the privilege. There was always too much to do, too many other things to occupy his attention. Now though, that it's replaced and he feels like a complete man again, Erwin can gently say goodbye to who he was, and welcome who he has become.]
The straps aren't bothering you?
[Because he's going to be doing this every chance he gets.]
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He wants to bask in it for as long as he can. ]
No. [ He murmurs softly, rubbing his face against soft skin, fingertips playing idly over a scar on Erwin's back. ]
S'fine.
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Good.
[Erwin kisses the top of Levi's head.]
Because I'm going to be doing this a lot.
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[ Because this is...nice. Really nice. They've spent so many hours together by now, being close, curled up against each other and making up for all of the comfort they could have had. Levi thinks he'll never not crave it. But this feels so incredibly perfect, the moment more peaceful than anything he's ever experienced. And he'll do whatever is necessary to hang onto it, to hold onto Erwin, and Hange, and all of them already here, to protect these moments of happiness they could never have before.
Erwin's heartbeat is a familiar, soothing sound against his ear. Levi closes his eyes, follows that gentle sway as they stand together. ]