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[ dolph isn't either. but he's trying. and he hopes his intent translates better. they've all lost people. they're all the same. is it a comforting thought? perhaps for dolph, who has always been kept at a distance, it is. ]
Thanks for stopping by.
Thanks for stopping by.
[Maybe because...the last thing Eren remembers before coming to this world is Captain Levi's squad - crushed, smeared, broken; his failure, his choice, his comrades, his Captain.
[Levi has lost so much. Losing someone here; it's a unique kind of pain, depending. Eren's hands are palm-up in his lap. He frowns lamely at them.]
You cared about her...and now she's gone...
[Levi has lost so much. Losing someone here; it's a unique kind of pain, depending. Eren's hands are palm-up in his lap. He frowns lamely at them.]
You cared about her...and now she's gone...
[Captain Levi is the last person that Eren wants to talk to about this. It feels impossible to look him in the eye; Eren compensates by not breaking eye contact at all.
[But he has no idea how to respond. They'll all find out eventually. He's not the same Eren anymore; never will be again. He's not prepared for Levi to lecture him about it; not even close.]
I went to the Labyrinth. I lived my future.
[But he has no idea how to respond. They'll all find out eventually. He's not the same Eren anymore; never will be again. He's not prepared for Levi to lecture him about it; not even close.]
I went to the Labyrinth. I lived my future.
[Eren's expression doesn't flinch or tighten. He'd look miserable if he looked like anything at all; maybe the emptiness is worse. He can feel Levi's affection dwindling and disappearing. He'd wanted to make him proud.]
That's what happened.
Aubrey, me, and Thorfinn. We lived our wishes.
That's where mine led. [He should feel shame; he honestly feels not much of anything.]
I was there...for a long time. [Infinite. "Time".]
That's what happened.
Aubrey, me, and Thorfinn. We lived our wishes.
That's where mine led. [He should feel shame; he honestly feels not much of anything.]
I was there...for a long time. [Infinite. "Time".]
[Eren feels all at once unmoored - more so than he did before walking into Levi's cottage, certainly. In some ways, the Eren he was and the Eren he becomes can never be separated now; he's a horrible mix of the two, not yet practiced at controlling his emotions. Levi guides him toward the kitchen where he sat across from Commander Erwin and first learned about his future. Eren stumbles without meaning to. His legs feel shaky. He wants to shatter.
[He sits at the table, half-stunned, half-obedient...maybe some part aimless, just doing what he's told, because what else is he supposed to do? He has no more direction. Half the time, he still feels like things are all happening at once. It's nauseating.
[He isn't sure what to say, but he's certain the conversation isn't over. It's not like the Eren Levi knows to stay silent, but it's just like the one Eren remembers feeling...
[He knows himself too well now.]
[He sits at the table, half-stunned, half-obedient...maybe some part aimless, just doing what he's told, because what else is he supposed to do? He has no more direction. Half the time, he still feels like things are all happening at once. It's nauseating.
[He isn't sure what to say, but he's certain the conversation isn't over. It's not like the Eren Levi knows to stay silent, but it's just like the one Eren remembers feeling...
[He knows himself too well now.]
[Eren watches Levi set the mug down; stares at it.
[The wings, the wolf, his name. He doesn't understand at first, expression subtly pinched. He still hasn't thought about today's date. It takes a few long seconds for it to dawn on him.
[He feels...sick.
[Captain Levi and all the others, pleading with him in the Paths. Levi won't remember that. Eren's hands close around the mug. He looks like he's in pain.]
You got this for me...?
[The wings, the wolf, his name. He doesn't understand at first, expression subtly pinched. He still hasn't thought about today's date. It takes a few long seconds for it to dawn on him.
[He feels...sick.
[Captain Levi and all the others, pleading with him in the Paths. Levi won't remember that. Eren's hands close around the mug. He looks like he's in pain.]
You got this for me...?
[It's more than overwhelming; just a mug, and it's not as though it's shocking that Captain Levi would get him something, but with the timing, it just feels like too much. He doesn't want to celebrate after all of that, least of all himself. Today is the day the end of the world was born. He's had less than three days to adjust to it, the destruction of his beloved comrades, his Captain.
[He thinks about the way that Levi looked the "last" time he saw him. Eren's hands fly away from the mug as if he's been startled, but he doesn't look up. His hands hang in the air, wrong. He pulls them down to stare at his palms.
[Maybe millions of crushed bodies ought to be what hangs in Eren's mind the most, but it isn't. It's the people he loves that he can't stop thinking about.]
Captain. [His voice is rough with emotion that his face doesn't necessarily betray, or, at least, not fully.]
I'm sorry. I don't think...I'll...ever be the same again now. No, that's...that's the truth...
[How could he be? How could he be? How could anyone even ask him to be anymore?]
I'm not...[It's hard to speak.] I can't give up. [He doesn't sound determined. He sounds resigned. He can't give up. He tried that already. Death isn't permanent here. There's no other option.]
But you have to know...
[He thinks about the way that Levi looked the "last" time he saw him. Eren's hands fly away from the mug as if he's been startled, but he doesn't look up. His hands hang in the air, wrong. He pulls them down to stare at his palms.
[Maybe millions of crushed bodies ought to be what hangs in Eren's mind the most, but it isn't. It's the people he loves that he can't stop thinking about.]
Captain. [His voice is rough with emotion that his face doesn't necessarily betray, or, at least, not fully.]
I'm sorry. I don't think...I'll...ever be the same again now. No, that's...that's the truth...
[How could he be? How could he be? How could anyone even ask him to be anymore?]
I'm not...[It's hard to speak.] I can't give up. [He doesn't sound determined. He sounds resigned. He can't give up. He tried that already. Death isn't permanent here. There's no other option.]
But you have to know...
Erwin is definitely noticing Levi's increased interest in kissing. He is taking this information and storing it away, carefully filing it with all the other things he can do that make intimacy easier and more enjoyable for Levi. Cleaning his mouth beforehand is a very small and easy price to pay, and he'll be taking the initiative on his own more often now.
When Levi goes back down on his heels, Erwin straightens up, his spine crackling as he does. He holds still as Levi slips his hand between them, and sighs when it wraps around his length. He is not going to last long today, not after all that build-up.
"I do like doing that." Obvious, perhaps, considering what Levi has in his hand, but Erwin says it anyway. "It's, ah... just as good as having it done to me. Maybe better."
It's an easy out for Levi; Erwin can't imagine he'd enjoy sucking cock himself, but that's fine. Erwin gets as much out of giving as receiving. That's true for a lot of things in the bedroom, not just oral.
He wonders how Levi would feel about ordering him around sometime.
Regardless, now is not the time to have that discussion, not when Levi's hand is giving him sweet, beautiful friction over his length. Erwin closes his eyes and leans into it, his hand moving to between Levi's shoulders to press him in against his chest.
When Levi goes back down on his heels, Erwin straightens up, his spine crackling as he does. He holds still as Levi slips his hand between them, and sighs when it wraps around his length. He is not going to last long today, not after all that build-up.
"I do like doing that." Obvious, perhaps, considering what Levi has in his hand, but Erwin says it anyway. "It's, ah... just as good as having it done to me. Maybe better."
It's an easy out for Levi; Erwin can't imagine he'd enjoy sucking cock himself, but that's fine. Erwin gets as much out of giving as receiving. That's true for a lot of things in the bedroom, not just oral.
He wonders how Levi would feel about ordering him around sometime.
Regardless, now is not the time to have that discussion, not when Levi's hand is giving him sweet, beautiful friction over his length. Erwin closes his eyes and leans into it, his hand moving to between Levi's shoulders to press him in against his chest.
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