[Erwin has taken a more hands-off approach to the kids. Levi and Hange were always better with the new recruits than he was, and for many of them, they've known the other two veterans for years longer than they knew Erwin. He still wants to know what they're up to, though.]
No, nothing's wrong. It's something good this time. I'll see you soon.
[And Erwin hangs up.]
[When Levi eventually gets home, Erwin is waiting in the main room of the cottage. He's shirtless, and wearing an arm that's strapped to his shoulder with a complicated series of belts. When he hears Levi come in, Erwin comes to the door.]
[ It seems like they're still pretty fucking messy at the moment, but: ] Adjusting.
[ They'll figure themselves out eventually. Maybe. Levi doesn't want to be in the middle of their personal dramas, but he does want them to know he's there if they need him. ]
Okay.
[ He doesn't know at all what to expect when he does finally reach home - the cottage is definitely easier to access than the treehouse, and even though it was the first place they stayed here, Levi doesn't particularly miss it. There's more space here, especially now that there's three of them. ]
Thanks-
[ As he looks up, he stopping to just stare for a few seconds, gray eyes wide with surprise.
It's...
...strange is the only word he could be asked to summon at first. It's not even as though it's the first time he's seen someone here with a metal arm. But somehow it's...definitely different, to see it on Erwin.
Levi just takes him in. Of course the man would just answer the door shirtless. He could rib him on it - what if it was one of the brats? - but he decides to enjoy the sight of him anyway. Weird new arm or no, Erwin is still unfairly fucking gorgeous.
He wets his lips before speaking. ]
So that's it, huh? [ Not really what he was imagining, but then Levi realizes he wasn't really imagining anything other than...well. A regular arm. Which seems a little ridiculous in hindsight, because it was never going to be that. ]
[Why wouldn't Erwin open the door shirtless? He's wearing a sweet new arm, and that's given him a confidence he's been sorely lacking over the last several months. He knows the rest of him is handsome, but just assumed everyone's eyes would be immediately drawn to his stump if he appeared without a shirt. Now, he could strut around naked if he wanted to, and no one would mind.]
[Well. Levi would probably mind, hence why he's only going around shirtless.]
It is.
[Erwin's brow furrows in concentration, and there's the faint sound of electrical sparking from the new arm. A second later, it rises at the elbow, and the hand opens.]
I'm using my electricity to control it.
[Which is taking some getting used to, hence the slow, awkward movements as he takes a bag from Levi. The arm tends to move and then freeze in whatever position Erwin leaves it in.]
It feels good. I feel like something I lost has been returned to me.
[ He'd mind insofar as you can't just be sitting your bare ass and balls on the furniture and other surfaces. Underwear at a minimum is preferred unless they're in bed. And much of the time it's appreciated then, too. But the rest of him? No, he doesn't fucking mind.
It helps that Erwin is radiating confidence. Levi can't remember the last time he looked so excited, a light shining so brightly in his eyes. This place is full of new and interesting things, but this is different. Even before finding themselves here, the last several months had been especially trying.
The arm is fucking weird. It's going to take some getting used to, seeing it on Erwin especially. But he's happy with it and really, that's all that matters.
Levi carefully hands him the bag, like he's unsure if the arm can handle the weight (there's more coconuts in there for you Erwin, gag, but also an extremely pointy, strange looking fruit they haven't tried yet called a pineapple that resembles neither pines nor apples, but is supposed to be pretty good, according to Jean. ]
It's strange. [ He answers honestly, because Erwin would be able to spot a lie otherwise, and that's not how they are with each other anyway. But Levi shrugs, because his opinion doesn't really matter. ] But you can open your own damn coconuts now, so no complaints here.
[ His eyes wander to the straps over his chest, fingers twitching a bit with the urge to just touch him. ] Is it hard to put on by yourself?
[All right, fair point. Erwin will carry a towel around when he's feeling like a nudist, so he can sit on it and not get ball sweat on things. There hasn't been any need for such a thing lately, but now that he's got a fresh new arm? Yeah, he might enjoy some backyard sunbathing once the weather warms up a little more.]
Yes. [Erwin grins at the comment about coconuts, positively beaming with delight.] This hand is strong enough to hold them in place.
[He'll use it to hack up that pineapple too. The fine motor control in the new hand is still awkward and slow, so despite being naturally right-handed, Erwin will keep using his left hand for detail work. The metal hand can very easily hold a coconut in place, though, and as a bonus, if he slips with the knife he won't cut himself.]
Not really. It's no worse than getting the ODM gear on one-handed.
[Which is to say, fiendishly difficult, but something Erwin practiced relentlessly after his injury until he could do it himself. After learning that, getting the arm on is practically child's play.]
[Erwin reaches up with his real hand and taps the leather straps across his chest.]
Levi remembers those hours Erwin spent trying to get used to the harness again. It's devilishly complicated even with two hands, but through tenacity, he'd managed in perhaps a frighteningly short amount of time. During those two months, he'd also put himself through rigorous training with the gear so as to use it properly one handed, pushing so hard that even Levi was fucking exhausted from running through drills with him.
He frowns a bit at the scars thing, though, however thrilled Erwin might seem. ]
Or you could wear something underneath it so you don't fuck up your skin any more.
[ His eyes drift over the contraption again as they move to the kitchen. It feels brighter and airy and bigger compared to the treehouse, somehow. ]
[Maybe the cadets need something to aspire to in old age. But no, Erwin will keep himself decent around everyone but Levi and Hange. They both helped him when he lost his arm, so they've already seen him at his worst. He's got nothing to hide from either of them.]
I've got some lotion that's supposed to help with skin ailments. I've tried wearing it over a shirt but I can't get it as tight to my shoulder as I want when I do that.
[It also looks pretty weird, wearing it over a shirt.]
I think so. Right now, I have to concentrate to make it move. I'm hoping that, the more I practice, the more automatic the movements will become.
[He offers the metal hand to Levi.]
Do you want to touch it? I'll be able to feel you with it.
[ Well fine...that makes sense. And he guess he'll just have to help Erwin out with that lotion, huh? How terrible, rubbing his hands over Erwin's chest and back perhaps nightly. How will he ever cope.
Levi's a little distracted by the thought when Erwin holds out the hand to him, and he's not quite able to hold down the unsure look that appears on his face.
I'll be able to feel you with it. There's something oddly intimate about that, because in truth he hadn't expected that to be true. But there's also some amount of...trepidation of being touched by an artificial contraption.
Get over yourself, he thinks, and reaches out to trace fingertips over the palm. ]
[Yes, Levi's life is truly suffering, having to be exposed to Erwin's chest and back and then putting his hands all over them. Erwin apologises for this egregious hardship he must endure.]
Oh...
[Erwin had watched as Levi reached out, and in a way, he'd been just as nervous. He already knows that he can feel many things with the new arm--the weight of a shirt over it, the metal elbow when he used it to open a door, the cottage doorknob when he turned it--but he hasn't touched another person yet. Part of him has been afraid that he won't be able to feel the lighter, softer touches the world has to offer.]
I felt that!
[It had been muffled, like Erwin had been wearing a glove when Levi touched him, but it had been there. He can feel Levi's fingertips on the metal hand, can even faintly feel the heat from them, and Erwin's face brightens like a rising sun.]
Levi, I can touch you again.
[It barely takes any concentration at all to make the metal hand turn, and gently wrap around Levi's.]
[ The metal is...strange. It's slightly warm to the touch, where he'd expected it to be cool - he prefers that it's warm, though, because at least it's a little less jarring and less difficult to think of it as an extension of Erwin...but it's still...strange.
But Erwin's excitement causes a sudden surge of emotion in his chest that Levi only just manages to contain, jaw tightening briefly and blinking rapidly to clear the sudden cloudiness away from his eyes. There's an instinct to pull away when metal fingers close over his hand - a reflex to avoid capture that's been long ingrained into his bones - but it's Erwin, and it's gentle, and he manages to hold still, even as his breathing gets just a little harder, barely noticeable.
He looks up at Erwin, brows furrowed a little as he carefully folds his fingers back over the metal hand as he answer softly. ]
You could always touch me.
[ Of course that's not what Erwin meant, but - it's all that Levi can think to say in the moment. ]
[Erwin drops his left hand over both of theirs, cradling Levi's hand between his two.]
I can hold you.
[With two arms! Which they've never gotten to do, realising what they were to each other only after Erwin lost his right arm. Erwin lets go of Levi's hand and spreads his arms wide.]
Please, come here.
[He knows the metal arm is weird. He knows it's going to take some getting used to. But he wants to hold his husband with two arms for the first time, and there's a faint note of pleading in his eyes when he asks Levi to step in. Please, let him do this. Let him feel whole, with his husband, for the first time.]
[ Fuck. Damn it, fuck, shit - just - how fucking dare he, really. Erwin really knows what to say to make it all hit home, doesn't he? He always has, the bastard, even for something like this. Something that seems so simple but makes his chest ache. The look in Erwin's eyes echoes a longing in his heart, a small, inconsequential wish that they hadn't taken his fucking long to be together. He's never thought any part of the man insufficient, no matter his insecurities and doubts. Erwin has always, always been enough, but that didn't mean Levi was unaware of the struggles he yet carried, like the loss of his arm. Seeing him now, how could he do anything but fling himself into that embrace?
Levi doesn't quite fling, but he doesn't hesitate this time, either, stepping into that awaiting circle. His own arms slip around Erwin's waist, palms pressing to warm skin as he rests his cheek against that broad chest (out of the way of the straps, hopefully, otherwise he might fling the damn thing off after all), and just - sinks into him, feeling his heartbeat. ]
[The straps are, fortunately, mostly on the right side, so as long as Levi errs towards the left, he won't run into any of them.]
[Erwin lets out a great, sighing breath that's almost a sob when Levi steps into the circle of his arms. He wraps both of them around him, for the very first time, and he's able to feel Levi inside the ring he's created. He's warm and solid and breathing softly, and Erwin can feel all of that, every bit of Levi against him and in his arms, and it is the single most amazing thing he's ever felt.]
[He drops his forehead down against Levi's head and just stands there, holding him like a real, whole person, swaying minutely from side to side.]
[ That sound nearly breaks his own composure, and instead he just tightens his own arms a little around Erwin, anchoring them both. Even with one made out of metal, it does feel good...really good...to be encircled like this. Shielded, secure, safe, his face pressed into Erwin's chest, breathing him in. He smells of clean skin and leather, and he's solid and real and...whole, again.
The longer they stand there, basking quietly in such a longed-for sensation, the more Levi feels himself relaxing. The ever-present tightness between his shoulders unwinds a little, his body becoming a little heavier as he leans into his husband. Husband.
Erwin.
After several long, uncounted moments, he presses fingertips into Erwin's back, and lifts his head gently, tilting his face upward as he raises himself up onto tiptoes to join their lips in a soft, sweet kiss. ]
[Erwin could stand like this all day. He damn well might have, if Levi didn't eventually pull him out of his happy daze. And for what a lovely reason; he dips his head down gladly to kiss Levi back.]
[He hadn't realised how broken he'd felt until he was made whole again. There hadn't been time, back home, to truly mourn the loss of his arm, and once they were here, he'd simply hadn't allowed himself the privilege. There was always too much to do, too many other things to occupy his attention. Now though, that it's replaced and he feels like a complete man again, Erwin can gently say goodbye to who he was, and welcome who he has become.]
The straps aren't bothering you?
[Because he's going to be doing this every chance he gets.]
[ It's broken only for as long as that kiss. Because while Levi could just climb the man like a tree to get at a better kissing level, he's perfectly happy to settle back onto his heels and lay his cheek to Erwin's pillowy chest again and continue to be held like this. There's a feeling radiating from Erwin, a lightness he can't remember the last time he'd seen - before everything with Eren started, before the walls were kicked in again.
He wants to bask in it for as long as he can. ]
No. [ He murmurs softly, rubbing his face against soft skin, fingertips playing idly over a scar on Erwin's back. ]
[The last time Erwin felt this light, it was... gods, he can't even remember. That probably says something about him and his lifestyle, that he can so easily pinpoint the dark times, but feeling good like this is much more rare. Even when Levi took Erwin's wedding band and put it on his finger, Erwin hadn't felt this at home in his own body.]
[ Because this is...nice. Really nice. They've spent so many hours together by now, being close, curled up against each other and making up for all of the comfort they could have had. Levi thinks he'll never not crave it. But this feels so incredibly perfect, the moment more peaceful than anything he's ever experienced. And he'll do whatever is necessary to hang onto it, to hold onto Erwin, and Hange, and all of them already here, to protect these moments of happiness they could never have before.
Erwin's heartbeat is a familiar, soothing sound against his ear. Levi closes his eyes, follows that gentle sway as they stand together. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
voice;
Yeah, stopped by to check on the brats, went to pick up some stuff. Something wrong?
[ It doesn't sound like anything's wrong, but old habits die hard. ]
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[Erwin has taken a more hands-off approach to the kids. Levi and Hange were always better with the new recruits than he was, and for many of them, they've known the other two veterans for years longer than they knew Erwin. He still wants to know what they're up to, though.]
No, nothing's wrong. It's something good this time. I'll see you soon.
[And Erwin hangs up.]
[When Levi eventually gets home, Erwin is waiting in the main room of the cottage. He's shirtless, and wearing an arm that's strapped to his shoulder with a complicated series of belts. When he hears Levi come in, Erwin comes to the door.]
I can help with those.
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[ They'll figure themselves out eventually. Maybe. Levi doesn't want to be in the middle of their personal dramas, but he does want them to know he's there if they need him. ]
Okay.
[ He doesn't know at all what to expect when he does finally reach home - the cottage is definitely easier to access than the treehouse, and even though it was the first place they stayed here, Levi doesn't particularly miss it. There's more space here, especially now that there's three of them. ]
Thanks-
[ As he looks up, he stopping to just stare for a few seconds, gray eyes wide with surprise.
It's...
...strange is the only word he could be asked to summon at first. It's not even as though it's the first time he's seen someone here with a metal arm. But somehow it's...definitely different, to see it on Erwin.
Levi just takes him in. Of course the man would just answer the door shirtless. He could rib him on it - what if it was one of the brats? - but he decides to enjoy the sight of him anyway. Weird new arm or no, Erwin is still unfairly fucking gorgeous.
He wets his lips before speaking. ]
So that's it, huh? [ Not really what he was imagining, but then Levi realizes he wasn't really imagining anything other than...well. A regular arm. Which seems a little ridiculous in hindsight, because it was never going to be that. ]
...how does it feel?
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[Well. Levi would probably mind, hence why he's only going around shirtless.]
It is.
[Erwin's brow furrows in concentration, and there's the faint sound of electrical sparking from the new arm. A second later, it rises at the elbow, and the hand opens.]
I'm using my electricity to control it.
[Which is taking some getting used to, hence the slow, awkward movements as he takes a bag from Levi. The arm tends to move and then freeze in whatever position Erwin leaves it in.]
It feels good. I feel like something I lost has been returned to me.
[Which it has, quite literally.]
What do you think?
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It helps that Erwin is radiating confidence. Levi can't remember the last time he looked so excited, a light shining so brightly in his eyes. This place is full of new and interesting things, but this is different. Even before finding themselves here, the last several months had been especially trying.
The arm is fucking weird. It's going to take some getting used to, seeing it on Erwin especially. But he's happy with it and really, that's all that matters.
Levi carefully hands him the bag, like he's unsure if the arm can handle the weight (there's more coconuts in there for you Erwin, gag, but also an extremely pointy, strange looking fruit they haven't tried yet called a pineapple that resembles neither pines nor apples, but is supposed to be pretty good, according to Jean. ]
It's strange. [ He answers honestly, because Erwin would be able to spot a lie otherwise, and that's not how they are with each other anyway. But Levi shrugs, because his opinion doesn't really matter. ] But you can open your own damn coconuts now, so no complaints here.
[ His eyes wander to the straps over his chest, fingers twitching a bit with the urge to just touch him. ] Is it hard to put on by yourself?
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Yes. [Erwin grins at the comment about coconuts, positively beaming with delight.] This hand is strong enough to hold them in place.
[He'll use it to hack up that pineapple too. The fine motor control in the new hand is still awkward and slow, so despite being naturally right-handed, Erwin will keep using his left hand for detail work. The metal hand can very easily hold a coconut in place, though, and as a bonus, if he slips with the knife he won't cut himself.]
Not really. It's no worse than getting the ODM gear on one-handed.
[Which is to say, fiendishly difficult, but something Erwin practiced relentlessly after his injury until he could do it himself. After learning that, getting the arm on is practically child's play.]
[Erwin reaches up with his real hand and taps the leather straps across his chest.]
I'm going to end up with some new scars, though.
[Which he sounds delighted about.]
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Levi remembers those hours Erwin spent trying to get used to the harness again. It's devilishly complicated even with two hands, but through tenacity, he'd managed in perhaps a frighteningly short amount of time. During those two months, he'd also put himself through rigorous training with the gear so as to use it properly one handed, pushing so hard that even Levi was fucking exhausted from running through drills with him.
He frowns a bit at the scars thing, though, however thrilled Erwin might seem. ]
Or you could wear something underneath it so you don't fuck up your skin any more.
[ His eyes drift over the contraption again as they move to the kitchen. It feels brighter and airy and bigger compared to the treehouse, somehow. ]
Will it get easier the more you use it?
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I've got some lotion that's supposed to help with skin ailments. I've tried wearing it over a shirt but I can't get it as tight to my shoulder as I want when I do that.
[It also looks pretty weird, wearing it over a shirt.]
I think so. Right now, I have to concentrate to make it move. I'm hoping that, the more I practice, the more automatic the movements will become.
[He offers the metal hand to Levi.]
Do you want to touch it? I'll be able to feel you with it.
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[ Well fine...that makes sense. And he guess he'll just have to help Erwin out with that lotion, huh? How terrible, rubbing his hands over Erwin's chest and back perhaps nightly. How will he ever cope.
Levi's a little distracted by the thought when Erwin holds out the hand to him, and he's not quite able to hold down the unsure look that appears on his face.
I'll be able to feel you with it. There's something oddly intimate about that, because in truth he hadn't expected that to be true. But there's also some amount of...trepidation of being touched by an artificial contraption.
Get over yourself, he thinks, and reaches out to trace fingertips over the palm. ]
no subject
Oh...
[Erwin had watched as Levi reached out, and in a way, he'd been just as nervous. He already knows that he can feel many things with the new arm--the weight of a shirt over it, the metal elbow when he used it to open a door, the cottage doorknob when he turned it--but he hasn't touched another person yet. Part of him has been afraid that he won't be able to feel the lighter, softer touches the world has to offer.]
I felt that!
[It had been muffled, like Erwin had been wearing a glove when Levi touched him, but it had been there. He can feel Levi's fingertips on the metal hand, can even faintly feel the heat from them, and Erwin's face brightens like a rising sun.]
Levi, I can touch you again.
[It barely takes any concentration at all to make the metal hand turn, and gently wrap around Levi's.]
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But Erwin's excitement causes a sudden surge of emotion in his chest that Levi only just manages to contain, jaw tightening briefly and blinking rapidly to clear the sudden cloudiness away from his eyes. There's an instinct to pull away when metal fingers close over his hand - a reflex to avoid capture that's been long ingrained into his bones - but it's Erwin, and it's gentle, and he manages to hold still, even as his breathing gets just a little harder, barely noticeable.
He looks up at Erwin, brows furrowed a little as he carefully folds his fingers back over the metal hand as he answer softly. ]
You could always touch me.
[ Of course that's not what Erwin meant, but - it's all that Levi can think to say in the moment. ]
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[Erwin drops his left hand over both of theirs, cradling Levi's hand between his two.]
I can hold you.
[With two arms! Which they've never gotten to do, realising what they were to each other only after Erwin lost his right arm. Erwin lets go of Levi's hand and spreads his arms wide.]
Please, come here.
[He knows the metal arm is weird. He knows it's going to take some getting used to. But he wants to hold his husband with two arms for the first time, and there's a faint note of pleading in his eyes when he asks Levi to step in. Please, let him do this. Let him feel whole, with his husband, for the first time.]
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Levi doesn't quite fling, but he doesn't hesitate this time, either, stepping into that awaiting circle. His own arms slip around Erwin's waist, palms pressing to warm skin as he rests his cheek against that broad chest (out of the way of the straps, hopefully, otherwise he might fling the damn thing off after all), and just - sinks into him, feeling his heartbeat. ]
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[Erwin lets out a great, sighing breath that's almost a sob when Levi steps into the circle of his arms. He wraps both of them around him, for the very first time, and he's able to feel Levi inside the ring he's created. He's warm and solid and breathing softly, and Erwin can feel all of that, every bit of Levi against him and in his arms, and it is the single most amazing thing he's ever felt.]
[He drops his forehead down against Levi's head and just stands there, holding him like a real, whole person, swaying minutely from side to side.]
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The longer they stand there, basking quietly in such a longed-for sensation, the more Levi feels himself relaxing. The ever-present tightness between his shoulders unwinds a little, his body becoming a little heavier as he leans into his husband. Husband.
Erwin.
After several long, uncounted moments, he presses fingertips into Erwin's back, and lifts his head gently, tilting his face upward as he raises himself up onto tiptoes to join their lips in a soft, sweet kiss. ]
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[He hadn't realised how broken he'd felt until he was made whole again. There hadn't been time, back home, to truly mourn the loss of his arm, and once they were here, he'd simply hadn't allowed himself the privilege. There was always too much to do, too many other things to occupy his attention. Now though, that it's replaced and he feels like a complete man again, Erwin can gently say goodbye to who he was, and welcome who he has become.]
The straps aren't bothering you?
[Because he's going to be doing this every chance he gets.]
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He wants to bask in it for as long as he can. ]
No. [ He murmurs softly, rubbing his face against soft skin, fingertips playing idly over a scar on Erwin's back. ]
S'fine.
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Good.
[Erwin kisses the top of Levi's head.]
Because I'm going to be doing this a lot.
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[ Because this is...nice. Really nice. They've spent so many hours together by now, being close, curled up against each other and making up for all of the comfort they could have had. Levi thinks he'll never not crave it. But this feels so incredibly perfect, the moment more peaceful than anything he's ever experienced. And he'll do whatever is necessary to hang onto it, to hold onto Erwin, and Hange, and all of them already here, to protect these moments of happiness they could never have before.
Erwin's heartbeat is a familiar, soothing sound against his ear. Levi closes his eyes, follows that gentle sway as they stand together. ]