[ It's even harder to tell when it's just through a written message; Eren can't see the expressions that shift subtly on Levi's face, the knit of his brow or the soft frown on his lips.
That Eren wanted to reach out is already meaningful, but the last comment shifts against a deeper pain, and can't help the flash of memory of Petra's father approaching him as they walked through the gate--
there's a longer pause before his reply this time. ]
Don't know what I keep doing that makes you brats talk like that.
[ Maybe it had something to do with saving her from mind flayers, Levi. ]
She needed help, I could do something about it, that's all.
[ Erwin had drawn off the mindflayers as a distraction and then gotten his brain fucked up as a result. There was no point in questioning his own decision at the time, or Erwin's, and Levi certainly didn't blame Tayrey for it. But that was the last time he'd really had to fight anything of consequence, and it was months ago.
It's odd, to realize it. ]
Once, maybe, but you saved us more than anything I did. Think Erwin has me beat on the saving you thing, though.
[ Maybe not physically, but it's Erwin's plans that have kept Eren out of the hands of the MPs. ]
[Eren hasn’t been thinking all that much about the lives he managed to save recently…It’s weird to see it spelled out like that. How many of those people ended up dying because of him in the long run?
[This isn’t about that…]
It mattered to her. That’s all.
Saving a life is a pretty big deal to the person who gets to keep living.
Could I come sweep today instead of tomorrow? I made plans by mistake.
[If Captain Levi wants to be alone, then he'll say no. If he doesn't want to be alone, then...(He thinks he's being slick - as if him abruptly changing the heaviest topic in the world isn't extremely obvious.)]
[ Levi doesn't respond, but there's tea waiting for Eren when he does arrive. He's taken to making a slightly sweeter variation of his preferred black teas by adding a little bit of honey and milk, since both are abundant here. It still feels a little indulgent, but it seems appropriate now, and there's something comforting about tea with a little cream.
He's sitting on the couch with one of Erwin's poem books when Eren knocks, and he just calls out for him to enter instead of getting up. ]
Drink the tea before you start so it doesn't get cold.
[Tea before sweeping. He is lonely. Eren can drink it real slow. It's good to appreciate tea, right? Is that something Levi values?
[Eren takes his tea and a seat in a nearby chair. He tilts his head a little at the poetry book in Levi's hand. Eren saw on Sleepr that Erwin was reading poetry lately. Eren really...can't see much of a point to that at all. None of his business, he supposes.]
I still haven't gotten used to tea like this. It's the only way I really drink it now, but still.
[ Eren's off on thinking that Levi is lonely when he has two partners and a gaggle of the young adults to look after - he's doing quite well there, thanks very much. But at this point they've circled around and now he's under the impression that it's Eren who needs some kind of comforting, or something -- or at the very least, he seems to want to spend time together right now, and Levi has no real reason or desire to put him off.
Appreciating tea is nice - fast or slow, so long as it doesn't go to waste. That's the real sin.
He sets aside the book - it's something Erwin has been reading to him lately, and while Levi usually prefers to listen to Erwin recite, it's nice to go back and read them for himself sometimes, too. ]
Yeah, feels like we should be blackmailing someone to get our hands on stuff this good. Damned accountants sometimes tried to get Erwin in trouble for buying the good stuff.
That's how it feels with everything here. It's weird.
[Not bad, but weird in a way that...sometimes makes Eren feel bad. Like he's being gluttonous or something. For as excited as he can get about food in this place, he still can't manage to finish it most of the time. It's all so rich.]
Whatever good stuff was back home, I bet that's just standard here.
[Sure, this isn't really what he came here to talk about, but some lead up might be necessary, right? Maybe he was stupid for thinking he'd be able to read Captain Levi any better in person.]
Surprised we all haven't gotten fat. Rich food, no Titans to chase around. Gonna turn into pigs ourselves if we're not careful.
[ There's no real chance of that, because none of them are truly gluttonous. Levi's filled out a little bit himself - some lines are a little softer, but in a lot of ways, he feels better. Funny how having regular access to a more balanced diet will do that for a person. He still trains, because he can't sit still for long, although Erwin has been less active. That's fine; the man deserves to rest. ]
So what's going on in that head of yours?
[ Seems like you have more things to say, Eren, so: out with it. ]
[Eren spends almost his entire day either training or walking all over town to deliver food (or cleaning vigorously with a broom). He's filled out a little too, but he's definitely not worried about turning into a pig.
[At Levi's question, there's a lopsided frown. Caught, huh? He really doesn't know how else to put it, and there's no point in lying to Captain Levi, so...]
I was kinda worried about you. I guess.
[Can't quite look him in the eye. It still feels like a breach of the chain of command to say that sort of thing, somehow. Eren barely knew Levi before he came here, really. It's just hard to see him with no pedestal, and Eren honestly doesn't.]
[ That...wasn't quite the answer he's expecting, and it shows in the way he pauses, frown deepening just slightly as he tries to sort through whether or not he's somehow been distressed enough about something to signal to Eren of all people that something is wrong. There are things on his mind, sure, but Levi doesn't think he's been projecting any of it, at least.
It does explain the line of their earlier conversation, though. ]
Worried about me. [ It's...touching, really. Levi studies the teen a moment, but he doesn't look mad, or even offended, just...curious. ]
[Maybe because...the last thing Eren remembers before coming to this world is Captain Levi's squad - crushed, smeared, broken; his failure, his choice, his comrades, his Captain.
[Levi has lost so much. Losing someone here; it's a unique kind of pain, depending. Eren's hands are palm-up in his lap. He frowns lamely at them.]
[ Levi lets that explanation wash through him, and he lets out a soft huff that could almost pass for a laugh. There's nothing like a smile on his face, but a faint crinkling at the edges of his eyes, softening any remaining severity. He doesn't look happy even as much as Eren would be able to see, but if there's any pain in his expression, it's bittersweet. ]
Yeah, I'm sad that she's not around anymore. But it seemed like part of her wish was to go home, maybe something was waiting for her there. If that's where she got to go, then I'm glad.
[ If death or something terrible awaited her, it would hurt more. Hopefully, Tayrey was where she wanted to be.
He reaches out and briefly scruffs his fingers through Eren's hair in a rough ruffle. ]
So if that's all it is, you can wipe that mopey look off your face.
[Eren toys with whether or not to feel satisfied with that answer. Levi's expression, however, subtle as the change may be, is reassuring; the ruffle of Eren's hair, more so.]
Alright. I won't hassle you anymore about it. [With a small smile of his own.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
That Eren wanted to reach out is already meaningful, but the last comment shifts against a deeper pain, and can't help the flash of memory of Petra's father approaching him as they walked through the gate--
there's a longer pause before his reply this time. ]
Don't know what I keep doing that makes you brats talk like that.
[ Maybe it had something to do with saving her from mind flayers, Levi. ]
no subject
You’ve probably saved me more times than I’ve even lived yet. I knew we were talking about the same person.
no subject
[ Erwin had drawn off the mindflayers as a distraction and then gotten his brain fucked up as a result. There was no point in questioning his own decision at the time, or Erwin's, and Levi certainly didn't blame Tayrey for it. But that was the last time he'd really had to fight anything of consequence, and it was months ago.
It's odd, to realize it. ]
Once, maybe, but you saved us more than anything I did. Think Erwin has me beat on the saving you thing, though.
[ Maybe not physically, but it's Erwin's plans that have kept Eren out of the hands of the MPs. ]
no subject
[This isn’t about that…]
It mattered to her. That’s all.
Saving a life is a pretty big deal to the person who gets to keep living.
no subject
I know, Eren.
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Could I come sweep today instead of tomorrow? I made plans by mistake.
[If Captain Levi wants to be alone, then he'll say no. If he doesn't want to be alone, then...(He thinks he's being slick - as if him abruptly changing the heaviest topic in the world isn't extremely obvious.)]
no subject
Sure, if you want.
[ Also does Eren really think he'd say no to cleaning a day early?? ]
lmk if handwave or move to action
we can do action for a bit :>
He's sitting on the couch with one of Erwin's poem books when Eren knocks, and he just calls out for him to enter instead of getting up. ]
Drink the tea before you start so it doesn't get cold.
no subject
[Eren takes his tea and a seat in a nearby chair. He tilts his head a little at the poetry book in Levi's hand. Eren saw on Sleepr that Erwin was reading poetry lately. Eren really...can't see much of a point to that at all. None of his business, he supposes.]
I still haven't gotten used to tea like this. It's the only way I really drink it now, but still.
no subject
Appreciating tea is nice - fast or slow, so long as it doesn't go to waste. That's the real sin.
He sets aside the book - it's something Erwin has been reading to him lately, and while Levi usually prefers to listen to Erwin recite, it's nice to go back and read them for himself sometimes, too. ]
Yeah, feels like we should be blackmailing someone to get our hands on stuff this good. Damned accountants sometimes tried to get Erwin in trouble for buying the good stuff.
speaking of aot food insecurity
[Not bad, but weird in a way that...sometimes makes Eren feel bad. Like he's being gluttonous or something. For as excited as he can get about food in this place, he still can't manage to finish it most of the time. It's all so rich.]
Whatever good stuff was back home, I bet that's just standard here.
[Sure, this isn't really what he came here to talk about, but some lead up might be necessary, right? Maybe he was stupid for thinking he'd be able to read Captain Levi any better in person.]
no subject
[ There's no real chance of that, because none of them are truly gluttonous. Levi's filled out a little bit himself - some lines are a little softer, but in a lot of ways, he feels better. Funny how having regular access to a more balanced diet will do that for a person. He still trains, because he can't sit still for long, although Erwin has been less active. That's fine; the man deserves to rest. ]
So what's going on in that head of yours?
[ Seems like you have more things to say, Eren, so: out with it. ]
no subject
[At Levi's question, there's a lopsided frown. Caught, huh? He really doesn't know how else to put it, and there's no point in lying to Captain Levi, so...]
I was kinda worried about you. I guess.
[Can't quite look him in the eye. It still feels like a breach of the chain of command to say that sort of thing, somehow. Eren barely knew Levi before he came here, really. It's just hard to see him with no pedestal, and Eren honestly doesn't.]
no subject
It does explain the line of their earlier conversation, though. ]
Worried about me. [ It's...touching, really. Levi studies the teen a moment, but he doesn't look mad, or even offended, just...curious. ]
Why?
no subject
[Levi has lost so much. Losing someone here; it's a unique kind of pain, depending. Eren's hands are palm-up in his lap. He frowns lamely at them.]
You cared about her...and now she's gone...
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Yeah, I'm sad that she's not around anymore. But it seemed like part of her wish was to go home, maybe something was waiting for her there. If that's where she got to go, then I'm glad.
[ If death or something terrible awaited her, it would hurt more. Hopefully, Tayrey was where she wanted to be.
He reaches out and briefly scruffs his fingers through Eren's hair in a rough ruffle. ]
So if that's all it is, you can wipe that mopey look off your face.
we can wrap here/soon if you'd like!
Alright. I won't hassle you anymore about it. [With a small smile of his own.]
ok!
Good.
[ Levi settles back, taking up his own cup again. ]
Thanks, though.