[ it'd been that first sojourn into the Labyrinth, where they'd both experienced the reality of their Wish. A little cottage together; their horses in the pasture; a ring, simple but clearly worn with many years appearing on his finger. He'd never dared to ever think that far. They hadn't even had the chance to admit any real hint of their feelings before then. The world had spun then; elation and disbelief and the deepest ache that it would probably never come true. It hadn't been long after that it was confirmed Erwin wouldn't return from that expedition.
So at least they had this. It's all they would have.
Levi regards Dolph solemnly, but gentle. He gestures to the cup in front of him. ]
[ his fingers cradle the cup for a long moment, letting the heat seep in before he picks it up and takes a sip. lets it settle. he's in no rush. time stretches out before him.
then he sets it down. the sound rings in his ear. ]
[ Likewise, Levi doesn't rush him. What they have the most of, to an extent, is time. Maybe it's simply a waiting game until someone inevitably (or so it seems) disappears, so it's just as important to have moments like these; unhurried, focused. He drinks his tea, companionable with the silence, and waits. ]
Scared of what?
[ He can guess, but maybe it'll help Dolph to talk it out. ]
[ the silence is grounding. it gives him the time he needs. even if it feels that once he says what he has to say, he's letting the genie out of the bottle. no takebacks.
but isn't that how he's lived his life anyway? ]
I got out of Eden because I hated hurting people. I couldn't take it. But I — I didn't know what to do with myself. I was so lost. Just living on the street. Hiding. Too afraid to do anything.
And . . . it was Alex. Who helped me. He got me into bars, who showed me the world. Let me experience so much. And . . . he gave me the dream of our beach. Somewhere we could be safe and happy.
I could see it. I could imagine it. Because we built it together.
[ another brief pause. ]
I'm ready to build something new with Jean. I'm ready to do that, but I'm afraid that when the time comes — nothing will come to me. It has to be something we do together and I might just . . . fall short.
[ Living off the street, just like how Levi had found him here, dragged him home to wash up and bullied him into taking one of the empty homes so that he didn't have to live in the gutter. Dolph had been skittish and reactive like an abused stray cat on the street.
He gives himself credit for not visibly reacting to mention of Alex, content to silently indulge in the fantasy of twisting the man's head off with his bare hands, should they ever meet.
As Dolph reveals his fear, Levi just watches him evenly, then sets his own cup down with a soft tap. ]
[ no, it wasn't. alex wasn't the person dolph thought he was. alex gave him so much. taught him love and life and futures. he soaked it up like a sponge. made those things his own. so he chose love. and here, he chose his own life. his own future.
finally he nods. before, he would have asked levi do you think I could? so he could internalize it. make it true. but he's no longer that person who needs that. levi is not his crutch. ]
[ maybe levi is right. despite his first impulse to dismiss it, dolph knows how forlorn jean feels. the loss of his friend in the fight, the way he feels he'll never come first place in someone's heart. all of these aspects kept him apart from others. made him unsure if someone could love him the way he wanted to be.
dolph had cleaved through because all he wanted to do was loving jean. ]
Yeah. You may be right. It's a long time coming but.
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So at least they had this. It's all they would have.
Levi regards Dolph solemnly, but gentle. He gestures to the cup in front of him. ]
Drink some tea, first.
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then he sets it down. the sound rings in his ear. ]
I'm excited. I want this.
And I'm still so scared. It's pathetic.
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Scared of what?
[ He can guess, but maybe it'll help Dolph to talk it out. ]
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but isn't that how he's lived his life anyway? ]
I got out of Eden because I hated hurting people. I couldn't take it. But I — I didn't know what to do with myself. I was so lost. Just living on the street. Hiding. Too afraid to do anything.
And . . . it was Alex. Who helped me. He got me into bars, who showed me the world. Let me experience so much. And . . . he gave me the dream of our beach. Somewhere we could be safe and happy.
I could see it. I could imagine it. Because we built it together.
[ another brief pause. ]
I'm ready to build something new with Jean. I'm ready to do that, but I'm afraid that when the time comes — nothing will come to me. It has to be something we do together and I might just . . . fall short.
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He gives himself credit for not visibly reacting to mention of Alex, content to silently indulge in the fantasy of twisting the man's head off with his bare hands, should they ever meet.
As Dolph reveals his fear, Levi just watches him evenly, then sets his own cup down with a soft tap. ]
You won't fall short. You want it bad enough.
And it wasn't you that fucked up the first time.
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finally he nods. before, he would have asked levi do you think I could? so he could internalize it. make it true. but he's no longer that person who needs that. levi is not his crutch. ]
Right. I'll . . . work on it.
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Levi reaches over and taps the deep blue stone with the tip of his finger. ]
It's not all on you. That's the point. If he fucks up, you tell him he fucked up, and he'll do the same to you.
But out of everyone here you could have picked, Jean's the best choice.
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Aren't you biased?
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Of course I am. I'm also right.
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Yeah. You are.
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"...the opposite is true, too.
I'm glad he has you."
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Me?
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He falls into a somewhat pensive silence for a moment or two, looking into his tea.
"...I think you can care for him in a way no one else could."
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dolph had cleaved through because all he wanted to do was loving jean. ]
Yeah. You may be right. It's a long time coming but.
I'm here now.
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"I'm glad." Warm, sincere.
He leans back again then with his cup, relaxed once more. "So you both'd better be good to each other, or I'll be kicking both your asses."
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Somehow, I think we'll manage.
[ the tendril of hope that circles his words is faint. but it's there. ]