It does feel important to take the time to say things that one didn't have the chance to, before. Jean has been feeling it more and more urgently since Eren's return - not because of anything Eren's done, though.
No, it was just a stark reminder that anyone could leave, with words unspoken. It had already happened to Jean twice, at this point, and there were things he wishes he could have told Eren before he left and came back.
Jean can only make the difference going forward.
Thankfully, Jean moves his gaze down to the tea in his hands as Levi speaks, the look too strong to hold himself, as well. I wanted you brats to have the chance to relax, too.
He lets the words linger. Levi has never had too much difficulty with silence, in Jean's estimation, so he lets it sit for a long moment before he gathers himself again, looking at Levi.
"I know. Which is why I wanted to tell you something else. I'm going to ask Dolph to marry me."
As ever, Levi is perfectly content with the companionable silence. Perhaps he hadn't even really expected much in the way of a response, content to just say it so Jean could be clear on his wish; it's so rare that he has the courage to say such a thing as it is.
Maybe something about this place is making him softer at the edges, more easily revealing the tenderness beneath.
So he sips at his tea, has another bite or two of the tart, and had actually just finished swallowing when Jean drops the (apparent) real reason for his visit.
Marriage?
Of course, Levi is more or less aware of the triumvirate that had formed with Eren and Mikasa, all having effectively declared themselves wed to one another. Mikasa is gone, and has been for a while now, and he can't help silently wondering if Eren's shift hasn't somehow prompted this - not that he doubts Jean's feelings in either direction. It's not really any of his damn business, truth be told.
But he's still plainly surprised, boggling a little at Jean as the thoughts process.
"Huh...that so."
In truth, it isn't difficult and doesn't take long for him to sort out his feelings. A smile of sorts flashes through his eyes before he turns a more serious, assessing look on Jean. Any other person might be more obviously playful in their ribbing:
"And you think he'll say yes?"
(Of course he will, and Levi knows it, knowing what he does about both of them.)
Jean would go through with it regardless of Levi's approval or lack thereof; but he knows that Dolph is close to both Erwin and Levi both. Just like earning Erwin's approval about it had felt, he feels relief and joy to see the smile that crosses Levi's face.
His ribbing, while understood, has a merit of truth to it. After what Alex put Dolph through, it took a lot of work for him to feel ready for this.
"I know he will," Jean answers confidently - and then offers an abashed smile. "Because I asked if he'd be interested, before I actually went looking for a ring. I didn't want to spring it on him totally out of the blue."
He takes a sip of his tea before he continues.
"I know some of his history with Alex. I didn't want to do anything he wasn't on board with. I want to make our dreams together."
It's the sort of thoughtfulness he's come to see in Jean, the beginnings of it visible from the time when he'd first pulled him into his new squad. As much as the future that awaits him seems so fucking dim, knowing that he'll see Jean grow into this person already here with him, and whatever might be beyond, is one of the few, precious things he knows he can hold onto.
A sour look briefly passes over his face at the mention of that asshole's name. Levi takes a longer sip of his tea until thoughts of murdering the man subside.
When he sets the cup down again, that quiet approval returns.
"Good," he says, a fondness tinging his voice.
After a beat, and a little more softly: "...you both deserve it."
Jean drinks more of the tea after Levi does. He suspects how Levi feels about Dolph is the same as himself; regardless, it's not a subject worth going into right now.
The less said about him, the better.
Levi's words have pink dusting his cheek, embarrassed by such honest words but happy to hear them yet again.
"We never know how much time we'll have with the people we care about," he answers honestly. He thinks of Hange, a bird in flight aflame in their last moments; he thinks of Sasha, who should have come home safe and sound after the raid in Liberio. He thinks of Erwin, and Squad Levi, and an empty senior break room with only the man across from him in it.
"It's why it's worth enjoying what we have."
He takes another sip to punctuate it. But, his next question might surprise Levi.
"I know traditionally the family members walk down with the people getting married. Since Dolph doesn't have any, and I don't have any here, I was wondering if you and Erwin would be willing to."
Maybe someone might think this place has made him soft. Maybe it has, but for all his reticence on his own real feelings, Levi well recognizes moments when honesty and appreciation shouldn't be held back. Of course they deserve this.
That comment doesn't pass by unnoticed. There's a little twist in his gut, a flash of sadness in his face. All of the people he misses, the ones he's endlessly grateful to have with him now, always quietly wondering if there will be a day when he wakes and they'll be gone from this place.
Better to hold onto them while they can.
His only response is a soft noise of agreement.
That question does take him by surprise, and it's plain on his face a moment before settling into a slight frown, a little bit of heat coloring the tops of his ears.
"Doing the whole song and dance, huh? Well...if you're sure we're the ones you want...yeah. I think we could do that." Then, more fondly: "We'd be happy to."
"I'm sure," Jean says with a serious look. He won't outright say that Levi is like family to him, but only because it doesn't necessarily need to be said. The whole of the scouts feels like that - or felt. The serious look breaks into a smile shortly after.
"And why not do the whole song and dance? He deserves it, and I don't think we'll end up planning on a big wedding. I think it'd make Dolph too nervous. Something small, though, with the people important to us."
They are like family; Levi would never claim to take the place of a parent, but for the subordinates who have been in his direct care...they're all deeply important to him, and that will never change.
Even if...
He shrugs. "Didn't say not to. Do whatever you both want, that's all." Ceremonies and being the center of attention even just among close people aren't for him, so even if the Labyrinth hadn't basically declared them already married, Levi still wouldn't have done much differently. But he understands that having a celebration of sorts is important to many people...and he does agree - Dolph and Jean deserve to be surrounded by people who love them.
Jean smiles again behind the edge of his tea cup at Levi thanking him.
"You're welcome, Captain. Also, now that you've tried the tarts, I have some ideas for a couple other pastry items for the shop, if you're willing to hear me out..."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
i THINK this was the point of this thread originally so
No, it was just a stark reminder that anyone could leave, with words unspoken. It had already happened to Jean twice, at this point, and there were things he wishes he could have told Eren before he left and came back.
Jean can only make the difference going forward.
Thankfully, Jean moves his gaze down to the tea in his hands as Levi speaks, the look too strong to hold himself, as well. I wanted you brats to have the chance to relax, too.
He lets the words linger. Levi has never had too much difficulty with silence, in Jean's estimation, so he lets it sit for a long moment before he gathers himself again, looking at Levi.
"I know. Which is why I wanted to tell you something else. I'm going to ask Dolph to marry me."
it is now!!
Maybe something about this place is making him softer at the edges, more easily revealing the tenderness beneath.
So he sips at his tea, has another bite or two of the tart, and had actually just finished swallowing when Jean drops the (apparent) real reason for his visit.
Marriage?
Of course, Levi is more or less aware of the triumvirate that had formed with Eren and Mikasa, all having effectively declared themselves wed to one another. Mikasa is gone, and has been for a while now, and he can't help silently wondering if Eren's shift hasn't somehow prompted this - not that he doubts Jean's feelings in either direction. It's not really any of his damn business, truth be told.
But he's still plainly surprised, boggling a little at Jean as the thoughts process.
"Huh...that so."
In truth, it isn't difficult and doesn't take long for him to sort out his feelings. A smile of sorts flashes through his eyes before he turns a more serious, assessing look on Jean. Any other person might be more obviously playful in their ribbing:
"And you think he'll say yes?"
(Of course he will, and Levi knows it, knowing what he does about both of them.)
no subject
His ribbing, while understood, has a merit of truth to it. After what Alex put Dolph through, it took a lot of work for him to feel ready for this.
"I know he will," Jean answers confidently - and then offers an abashed smile. "Because I asked if he'd be interested, before I actually went looking for a ring. I didn't want to spring it on him totally out of the blue."
He takes a sip of his tea before he continues.
"I know some of his history with Alex. I didn't want to do anything he wasn't on board with. I want to make our dreams together."
no subject
A sour look briefly passes over his face at the mention of that asshole's name. Levi takes a longer sip of his tea until thoughts of murdering the man subside.
When he sets the cup down again, that quiet approval returns.
"Good," he says, a fondness tinging his voice.
After a beat, and a little more softly: "...you both deserve it."
no subject
The less said about him, the better.
Levi's words have pink dusting his cheek, embarrassed by such honest words but happy to hear them yet again.
"We never know how much time we'll have with the people we care about," he answers honestly. He thinks of Hange, a bird in flight aflame in their last moments; he thinks of Sasha, who should have come home safe and sound after the raid in Liberio. He thinks of Erwin, and Squad Levi, and an empty senior break room with only the man across from him in it.
"It's why it's worth enjoying what we have."
He takes another sip to punctuate it. But, his next question might surprise Levi.
"I know traditionally the family members walk down with the people getting married. Since Dolph doesn't have any, and I don't have any here, I was wondering if you and Erwin would be willing to."
no subject
That comment doesn't pass by unnoticed. There's a little twist in his gut, a flash of sadness in his face. All of the people he misses, the ones he's endlessly grateful to have with him now, always quietly wondering if there will be a day when he wakes and they'll be gone from this place.
Better to hold onto them while they can.
His only response is a soft noise of agreement.
That question does take him by surprise, and it's plain on his face a moment before settling into a slight frown, a little bit of heat coloring the tops of his ears.
"Doing the whole song and dance, huh? Well...if you're sure we're the ones you want...yeah. I think we could do that." Then, more fondly: "We'd be happy to."
He doesn't have to ask Erwin.
no subject
"And why not do the whole song and dance? He deserves it, and I don't think we'll end up planning on a big wedding. I think it'd make Dolph too nervous. Something small, though, with the people important to us."
You and Erwin are important to us he is saying.
no subject
Even if...
He shrugs. "Didn't say not to. Do whatever you both want, that's all." Ceremonies and being the center of attention even just among close people aren't for him, so even if the Labyrinth hadn't basically declared them already married, Levi still wouldn't have done much differently. But he understands that having a celebration of sorts is important to many people...and he does agree - Dolph and Jean deserve to be surrounded by people who love them.
"Thanks, for asking us."
wrap?
"You're welcome, Captain. Also, now that you've tried the tarts, I have some ideas for a couple other pastry items for the shop, if you're willing to hear me out..."