Later on, Erwin will have to tell Levi about how he and Jean made the executive decision to close the tea shop early when they both started coughing up flowers. What an unsanitary mess.
Erwin should have seen the question about constipation coming, but he did, and it makes him snort some laughter. Unfortunately, that jars the coughing loose, and he has to stop walking to let the spell take its course. It takes about twenty seconds, and he spits out a spray of petals into his hand at the end of it.
"No. Not constipated."
Edited (the horrors of html beset me yet again) 2025-02-24 19:16 (UTC)
There's a twist in his stomach as soon as Erwin starts coughing - an old, uncontrollable reaction - but Levi forces the feeling down with practice, and abandons his drying, grabbing up the device as he gets up to pace to look out the front window, as though he expected to see Erwin walking up to the door already.
Erwin winces. He was really hoping he'd be able to keep from coughing over this call, and now he's gone and upset Levi. Oh, well... probably better for him to have advance warning, rather than Erwin getting home and immediately spraying flower petals everywhere.
"I'm on my way. I'll be about ten minutes."
He thinks about making an answering poop joke, but it's just not in him today. He doesn't think Levi would be terribly receptive to it either. So Erwin simply keeps the call open as he walks the streets.
"I don't think it's as bad as I sound."
At least he's not coughing up blood and flower petals, like he's seen other people do today.
"The fact that you're saying that means it's worse." Underneath the flat disbelief, there's a note of distress. In a place that didn't have weird shit happening every other month, he'd count it as just an ordinary cold (which would be Unpleasant but manageable). But after a year and a half in this place, Levi's learned to not assume anything to be ordinary at first blush.
And yes, blood and petals would definitely be worse.
"When did it start? You sounded fine this morning."
Unless Erwin had successfully hidden his off feeling from him early on...
If it was just a cold, Erwin would excuse himself to the couch for the night. He'd bundle up under a load of blankets and coax Burnt Rice to join him, and drink a pot of hot tea with honey before going to sleep. That was usually enough to knock any ordinary illness away.
The flower petals mean this isn't any ordinary illness.
"It started later in the afternoon. Jean had it too, and I helped him get settled before I started home."
Jean was settled a couple of hours ago, but Levi doesn't need to know that. Erwin had held out stubborn hope that sharing secrets with Jean would be enough to cure himself, but he doesn't seem to be so lucky.
"It's, ah... it's not a regular cough." Best to just get it out there. "I'm coughing up flower petals."
Luckily, Levi had just changed all of the bed linens - both in their room and in Hange's (even though they haven't been here for nearly...a year...it's still their room, in his mind). He's in the process of grabbing an extra thick blanket from the closet when Erwin drops that bomb.
There's a very long pause, as though he's playing that comment over in his head multiple times, trying to work out if he heard right.
"Flower petals. I'm... ah..." It seems that mentioning the damn things inspired them, and Erwin stops to cough again. It's not as long this time, but more violently, finishing with him retching from deep in his lungs and expelling the petals with a splat onto the wall.
"I'm coughing them up." Erwin straightens and wipes his mouth with a handkerchief. A few stray sakura petals stick to it.
There's some predictably impressive swearing happening on the other end, and the sound of quicker footsteps and rustling as Levi immediately pivots and starts getting ready to leave.
"You sound worse than shit. Where are you, I'm coming to get you before you turn into a fucking tree and get rooted to who the fuck knows where."
He's still over five minutes out, but he'd rather get any stray petals out before getting to the cottage. Levi has seen him laid low and at his worst before, but Erwin isn't crazy about repeating the experience.
"Can you get the kettle going? These petals keep scratching my throat."
He does halt for a moment, worry warring with trust, and in the end (as it often does) trust wins out.
"...fine," he says, sullenly, and abandons his preparations to go back toward the kitchen. "But if you're not here soon I'm coming out anyway. Why didn't you call me when it started?"
If Erwin can drag himself back into battle after a titan attack and field amputation, he can handle a cough on the walk home. That's what he's telling himself, anyway. This would be a lot easier if he had Star here to ride.
"I was helping Jean." And he'd thought, foolishly, that trauma-dumping on the kid would make the petals go away. "It eased off a little after talking to him, but then it came back."
He can see the cottage now, and trudges a little faster. "I'm almost there."
Drastic measures on the battlefield are one thing, Erwin. If your husband is just a call away to come get you, that's another.
Why talking to Jean would help with puking up flower petals, Levi can't begin to puzzle out in the moment, and just assumes maybe Erwin's getting delirious as well.
He's got the kettle going and tea measured out (herbal, with a little honey), and goes to retrieve one of his face coverings from the cupboard. "How's Jean?" Presumably not dead or turned into a plant.
"He's fine. He stopped coughing and went home." Erwin pauses for a moment to catch his breath, then continues. "Has he ever told you about a cadet named Marco? He apparently died at Trost."
This will all be relevant, he swears. Also, please notice and praise Erwin for taking care of the one of the kids!
Erwin finally drags himself to the cottage door, but he has to stop and cough up another wad of flower petals into the bushes beside the mailbox. At least he managed to do that before coming inside.
Then he shoves the door open and enters the cottage, bringing a gust of cold air in with him.
"I'm home!" he calls, and ends the phone connection.
There's a brief pause. "Not directly." It's possible Jean has told him at some point in his future, but it's not a memory he possesses. The name isn't wholly unfamiliar, though, as he's overheard bits and pieces of conversation between the 104th cohorts. If there was more to it than a close comrade that had died, he didn't know it.
Hearing Erwin close in, Levi disconnects the device and leaves it on the counter, meeting Erwin at the door with a cloth mask tied around the lower part of his face and handing him one of his own.
"Put this on." There's also a few handkerchiefs that get set on the bench. He's not having Erwin cough up...flowers...just...into his hand.
Gross.
He reaches up to press the back of his palm to Erwin's forehead, feeling for a fever.
"He died at Trost. We never met him. But it seems like he meant a lot to the kids." Beyond that, Levi will have to ask Jean himself; Erwin figures what he's said so far is basic enough to not be betraying Jean's confidence.
Erwin ties on the mask willingly enough, and stoops to let Levi feel his forehead. He doesn't feel overheated, but he was also just out in the snow. In reality, he's burning up, and the flush in his cheeks isn't just from being outside.
"I need to wash my hands." Since he's been spitting flowers into them until now. Erwin works at getting out of his coat, but it gets hung up on his right arm and he can't get it free. Huh... maybe he's in worse shape than he thought.
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no subject
Erwin should have seen the question about constipation coming, but he did, and it makes him snort some laughter. Unfortunately, that jars the coughing loose, and he has to stop walking to let the spell take its course. It takes about twenty seconds, and he spits out a spray of petals into his hand at the end of it.
"No. Not constipated."
no subject
There's a twist in his stomach as soon as Erwin starts coughing - an old, uncontrollable reaction - but Levi forces the feeling down with practice, and abandons his drying, grabbing up the device as he gets up to pace to look out the front window, as though he expected to see Erwin walking up to the door already.
"Get your ass home. Now."
no subject
"I'm on my way. I'll be about ten minutes."
He thinks about making an answering poop joke, but it's just not in him today. He doesn't think Levi would be terribly receptive to it either. So Erwin simply keeps the call open as he walks the streets.
"I don't think it's as bad as I sound."
At least he's not coughing up blood and flower petals, like he's seen other people do today.
no subject
And yes, blood and petals would definitely be worse.
"When did it start? You sounded fine this morning."
Unless Erwin had successfully hidden his off feeling from him early on...
no subject
The flower petals mean this isn't any ordinary illness.
"It started later in the afternoon. Jean had it too, and I helped him get settled before I started home."
Jean was settled a couple of hours ago, but Levi doesn't need to know that. Erwin had held out stubborn hope that sharing secrets with Jean would be enough to cure himself, but he doesn't seem to be so lucky.
"It's, ah... it's not a regular cough." Best to just get it out there. "I'm coughing up flower petals."
no subject
There's a very long pause, as though he's playing that comment over in his head multiple times, trying to work out if he heard right.
After a moment or two:
"You're fucking what?"
I forgot to send this last night wtf
"Flower petals. I'm... ah..." It seems that mentioning the damn things inspired them, and Erwin stops to cough again. It's not as long this time, but more violently, finishing with him retching from deep in his lungs and expelling the petals with a splat onto the wall.
"I'm coughing them up." Erwin straightens and wipes his mouth with a handkerchief. A few stray sakura petals stick to it.
oops-
"You sound worse than shit. Where are you, I'm coming to get you before you turn into a fucking tree and get rooted to who the fuck knows where."
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He's still over five minutes out, but he'd rather get any stray petals out before getting to the cottage. Levi has seen him laid low and at his worst before, but Erwin isn't crazy about repeating the experience.
"Can you get the kettle going? These petals keep scratching my throat."
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"...fine," he says, sullenly, and abandons his preparations to go back toward the kitchen. "But if you're not here soon I'm coming out anyway. Why didn't you call me when it started?"
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"I was helping Jean." And he'd thought, foolishly, that trauma-dumping on the kid would make the petals go away. "It eased off a little after talking to him, but then it came back."
He can see the cottage now, and trudges a little faster. "I'm almost there."
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Why talking to Jean would help with puking up flower petals, Levi can't begin to puzzle out in the moment, and just assumes maybe Erwin's getting delirious as well.
He's got the kettle going and tea measured out (herbal, with a little honey), and goes to retrieve one of his face coverings from the cupboard. "How's Jean?" Presumably not dead or turned into a plant.
no subject
This will all be relevant, he swears. Also, please notice and praise Erwin for taking care of the one of the kids!
Erwin finally drags himself to the cottage door, but he has to stop and cough up another wad of flower petals into the bushes beside the mailbox. At least he managed to do that before coming inside.
Then he shoves the door open and enters the cottage, bringing a gust of cold air in with him.
"I'm home!" he calls, and ends the phone connection.
no subject
Hearing Erwin close in, Levi disconnects the device and leaves it on the counter, meeting Erwin at the door with a cloth mask tied around the lower part of his face and handing him one of his own.
"Put this on." There's also a few handkerchiefs that get set on the bench. He's not having Erwin cough up...flowers...just...into his hand.
Gross.
He reaches up to press the back of his palm to Erwin's forehead, feeling for a fever.
no subject
Erwin ties on the mask willingly enough, and stoops to let Levi feel his forehead. He doesn't feel overheated, but he was also just out in the snow. In reality, he's burning up, and the flush in his cheeks isn't just from being outside.
"I need to wash my hands." Since he's been spitting flowers into them until now. Erwin works at getting out of his coat, but it gets hung up on his right arm and he can't get it free. Huh... maybe he's in worse shape than he thought.